As my mom recently pointed out, damn yo, you check a lot of flicks! I'm paraphrasing of course, but yes, I do quite often frequent the cinema.
So, it goes without saying that the best of list I previously posted on here should only be followed up with the list of what absolutely sucked monkey ass at a theater near you in 2004.
In alpha order (cause they all sucked):
CATWOMAN
Could have been good if they stuck with the character from the DC Comics. You know, that "Catwoman" character? The one that also appeared in Batman Returns? What the hell was this film? Sharon Stone deserves better. I will leave it at that.
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
Man was this movie funny! Wait, it is not a comedy? There is not a reason in this world for The Day After the Day After Tomorrow. Oh, and there are no wolves in the Central Park Zoo.
THE HAUNTED MANSION
Now after the brilliant Pirates of the Caribbean one would think Disney was on to something, but then remember they also brought us those other movies based on theme park attractions, Mission to Mars, Tower of Terror, and The Country Bears. Now they take my favorite one of all time and screw that up too? Although there were a few nice little in-joke surprises if you know the ride well, this one was played way to safe for family audiences and overall just a really lame ride of a movie.
MAN ON FIRE
I don’t know anyone who enjoyed this violent little stinker, and I really don’t want to. One of the worst edited films I have ever seen hands down.
SUPER SIZE ME
Really, what is the point of this strange documentary? I already read the book (Fast Food Nation) and it was better. This guy takes the book and tries to make a narrative movie out if it, and his strange weight gaining experiment? I have seen fetish porn more informative than this big old collection of well, duh?!!
VAN HELSING
Van sucking!
THE VILLAGE
And last but not least (perhaps the very worst of em all) is the most disappointing follow up to a major movie since, well, every Woody Allen film in the past five years. Strange, laughable, and an incredible waste of talent. If the twist does not floor you in terms of stupidity, the next two twists will. And someone please tell M Night Shyamalan that the director usually stays BEHIND the camera?
DISHONERABLE MENTIONS…
Dawn of the Dead
Looney Tunes: Back in Action
Mambo Italiano
The Passion of the Christ
Stuck on You
So what are the worst?
