avatar, but with cats...

I got an academy screener for AVATAR yesterday, which is a big deal if you're a one-eyed cat that can't see 3D, nor is allowed in movie theaters.

So naturally, my one-eyed cat Pete is obsessed with the film and can't take his eye off the screen when I play the movie for him. As for me, I prefer the 3D version in theaters. In the meantime, here's a conceptual drawing of Pete as envisioned by James Cameron, who has some interest in casting Pete in the sequel. Motion capture is a bitch with cats though.

back in the day...

I love this short documentary about the porn book and movie stores in early 70s New York City. Step back in time in this not safe for work expose...

saw vi doppelgänger...

The guy in the upper right hand corner of this screen grab from SAW VI could easily be mistaken for my torture porn cameo debut. Just for the record, it's not.

note to apple...

When you first visit the Apple homepage today, you'll be treated their newest video featuring the top mac minds touting iPad as the second coming of Jesus. Frankly, these guys really freak me out with their wide-eyed (literally sometimes) optimism and wet-your-pants over-promise of a brave new world. Wouldn't now be a better time for swimsuit models holding the devise, making suggestive hand gestures over the sleek glass screen? Just saying.

In no particular order, creepy guys appearing in the video are...

random thoughts on the iPad...

• My backordered Barnes & Noble NOOK, which was an awesome Christmas present from Craig, is outdated before it even arrived (I still want my NOOK though).

• The aesthetics of the iBook books are great, but being able to "choose" the font is a big slap in the face to book editors and authors that establish a font setting for a reason.

• I don't see myself playing games on something this large. I feel funny enough using the iPod touch for games.

• At 1.5 pounds, they may want to have considered adding a wrist strap. People are going to be dropping this thing out of their hands left and right.

• iPad is a terribly bland name and it's time to stop adding "i" to everything.

• Midgets and little people have had these iPads for months now. It was called the iPhone.

• They better offer that free AT&T wifi to current users of the iPod Touch, which doesn't pick up a signal 9 times out of 10.

cats rule...

niche marketing...

Is it me, or does this marketing effort from Touchstone Pictures seem a little far out?

Targeting fans of Napoleon Dynamite, they've taken out viral messages on Facebook to point out the guy who played Pedro is in their When in Rome...



Nope, I still won't see it.

where are thosegrateful dead bears when you need them...

As a fifteen year resident of New York City, where nearly 75% of vehicles is yellow, expensive and deadly, I have to admit, I am a little out of the loop on the latest trends in car accessaries. I believe I last owned a car when Garfield was a suctioned doll, rather than an annoying CGI fail with the voice of Bill Murray.

So, I'm a bit thrown off by the family decals on cars I see in the suburbs, as pictured below...
















This is the dumbest thing I've seen on a car since I learned your kid was on the honor roll last month. I'd rather see a thousand more Jesus fish on bumpers than to be subjected to these stick-figure representations of family grandiloquence.

Then finally, last season, Dexter pointed out the complete and utter stupidity of these stickers by pointing out any given serial killer can use the icons to their benefit—especially when the a kid's name is placed under their avatar. Too bad that show had a limited audience. I think it would take an Oprah to point out the dangers of showcasing your family profile, not to mention name, on your vehicle.

In what's the most ridiculous related story of all, Beware of the Blog has obtained this exclusive look into what really set off Tiger Wood's wife...

Augustus Gloop, Taxman

Just in case you were wondering, Michael Bollner whole played Augustus Gloop in the 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...

Now runs a tax agency in Germany, which you can contact here...

REACTION to Pat Robertson's statement against Haiti

currently reading...

we're back...

BEWARE OF THE BABYLON brings you our first ever VIDEO podcast, actually filmed completely on an iPod Nano! In this riveting SPECIAL PRESENTATION, you'll discover:

• who names their dog Luca

• where you can buy a had that looks like Sully from Monsters, Inc

• how to piss of Pepe just before a delivery

• why we stick to audio podcasts

• when to wear your dominatrix ballet flats



More traditional audio podcasts are to come in 2010 (we promise), and in the meantime, you can subscribe to the podcast FOR FREE and download this and over 75 BEWARE OF THE BABYLON episodes through iTunes here.

beverly hills chihuahua 2: dog in the ciy

Hundreds of thousands of chihuahuas have been flown to New York City today. Apparently, small dogs are SO last year, and they've been shipped here due to a shortage of small dogs in the big apple.

I just hope the chihuahuas aren't too shocked when they realize the average New York City apartment is smaller than the average Los Angeles woman's purse.

I'd love to take home one of these pups, and being from Los Angeles, the chihuahua should be used to fat cats. I'm just afraid my cats would eat the dog while I'm at work. That's just too much to try to explain to the ASPCA.

i'm feeling blu...

This being 2010, the year we make contact, I've taken a major leap into the 21st century and upgraded from a 1988 hand-me-down tube television to a High Def Panasonic flatscreen and a Blu-ray player!

You would think this film geek would have been on the Blu-ray bandwagon the second the first player came off the line, but the high cost was just waaaaay to much to self-justify. I can tell you after doing a lot of research that not only have the costs of players and monitors greatly decreased, but the selection and quality of product out there's pretty amazing.

The wishful thinker in me has always been an early adopter. Back in the 80s, I purchased CDs way in advance of owning a player. In the 90s, I owned a handful of Laserdiscs before landing a discontinued player at the tail end of that trend. So, it's no surprise to you when I say I had a couple Blu-ray discs purchased before caving into the player buy.

Haven't had a chance to watch them all, but I've started off the Blu-ray collection with what I consider to be some essentials...

Gremlins
Hellraiser
Pinocchio
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Poltergeist
2001: A Space Odyssey
The Godfather - The Coppola Restoration
Heathers

I'll be reporting back after my next chance to veg out in front of the new set-up!

these are SO 2009...

Here are my top words and phrases you're not allowed to say, nor write in 2010...

STIMULUS
Especially not allowed to use in the context of a package, plan or electronic sex toys.

DOORBUSTER
When did it become acceptable for sales to be called "doorbusters?" Wasn't that label coined to describe actual doors busting open before sales and people getting trampled to death by WalMart shoppers? Just sayin.'

"HAVE YOU SEEN JERSEY SHORE?"
Yes, we've all seen Jersey Shore and it needs to go away fast.

FROM THE STUDIO THAT BROUGHT YOU
Seriously? How little does a movie have going for it that the poster or trailer has to tout the studio?

INFOMERCIAL
They're commercials. I'm not learning anything from it I didn't already know the first 400 times I watched the infomercial.

HD
Isn't HD the new SD now? Even radio stations are stealing the initials to describe their broadcasts.

TWEET
I technically tweet, yes, but I call it "Twittering." It's my term for it and anyone that corrects me is a fucking idiot.

ALL-NATURAL SUGAR SUBSTITUTE
Nothing natural about it.

"ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA"
If you quote wikipedia as a source, you're an even bigger idiot than a "tweeter."

a very pac man christmas...

strangest Christmas special ever...

merry christmas everybodyand beware the zinger zapper...

Every nutcase out there seems to be blaming Omaba for interrupting this year's network broadcast of A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS, as if it's some major conspiracy from the government.

Can you imagine, in the age of YouTube, Hulu, DVRs, DVDs, Blu-ray and, hell, even your old VHS copy, that we're getting concerned over the "television broadcast" of this Christmas special?

Besides, the broadcasts haven't been the same since they lost the Dolly Madison sponsorships. That was what I always looked forward to.

You can watch the full special here below, Obama-free, but if you feel the need to interrupt with a Zinger Zapper, I've provided that below too...

holiday party portrait fail...

Yep, that's me being attacked by the cat just as the shutter snaps.

listen to mom...

Who needs weather.com when you have Mom?

listen to mom...

Who needs weather.com when you have Mom?

making amends...

I'd like to say that I totally planned on following up my last post with additional BEST SONGS OF 2009, but then I'd be stretching the truthiness.

On that note, here are the songs I completely, totally forgot to include in the list from the original post. They are equally, if not more awesome. Sorry 'bout dat.

For a limited time, you can download a zip file with MP3s of these here.

Raindrops • Basement Jaxx
At first listen, it's a generic dance/club track, but what it's much more mature and very layered. It teeters just on the edge of annoying, as all of the best, catchy dance tunes should.

Kling To The Wreckage • The Crystal Method
Is that Ian Curtis back from the dead singing lead on a new Crystal Method track? Close. It's the lead singer from She Wants Revenge, who brings to mind the late Joy Divisioner.

The Hazards Of Love 4 • The Decemberists
This mellow end track from the album of the same name is proof of the brilliant song-writing going on on this album. My pick for best album of the year by far, although each individual track doesn't necessarily hold on its own.

Help Somebody • Maxwell
From the first album of a "trilogy" planned by Maxwell, this is a soulful jam with an amazing piano and bass hook.

I Belong To You • Muse
Epic and over the top, as only Muse can do right.

So Far Around The Bend • The National
Toe tapping goodness from Dark Was the Night, which the band also produced.

Hey, Snow White • The New Pornographers
A.C. Newman pulled another solo effort, but this gem, also from the Dark Was the Night compilation, is one of the best since the early days of the band.

1901 (Fabian Remix) • Phoenix
OMFG, yes I left off Phoenix by accident from the original list. Their Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is also one of the best albums of the year, and they rocked live in Central Park. Finally the band gets appreciation beyond France.

Inspiration Information • Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
No new album from the fabulous Miss Sharon Jones this year, but this track will do quite nicely to tie us over.

best songs of 2009...

These are my favorite songs of 2009, in alpha order by band. For a limited time, you can download a zip file with MP3s of these here.

Summertime Clothes • Animal Collective
Unless you're under a rock, or lame, Merriweather Post Pavilion is one of the most revolutionary albums since The Soft Bulletin, and rightfully making many a Best of 2009. I picked this over My Girls 'cause I'm getting a little sick of My Girls.

Daniel • Bat For Lashes
A little more mature and overproduced than her last album, Bat for Lashes returns with this moody little synth laced tune.

My Night With The Prostitute From Marseille • Beirut
This is one of those songs I tend to repeat almost as soon as it's done playing. It's just that instantly repeatable. The Beirut double album it comes from is a lot of fun, in an indie music sort of way.

Blood Bank • Bon Iver
Even if you hate Bon Iver as much as my boyfriend Craig, I think you'll admit this is a really sweet song that makes you want to pack the Chevy, grow a beard and road trip it down to Mexico.

Love Comes Close • Cold Cave
Many a band's been inspired by early New Order. Cold Cave channels them with this.

Hang You From the Heavens • The Dead Weather
I love the groove of this track from the new incarnation of The White Stripes. It's kind of dirty, but deep.

40 Day Dream • Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
Every year, a song makes this list that's unarguably catchy. This is this year's.

Hurt Feelings • Flight of the Conchords
An amazing new season of HBO's Flight of the Conchords brought this hysterical rap.

Cosmic Love • Florence & The Machine
The entire album is a must have, but this track really showcases the band's sound and ability to take you to far-away places.

How Insensitive • Iggy Pop
Who would of thunk?!

Bad Body Double • Imogen Heap
Her sophomore release was overly ambitious, but this is a standout track.

Song and Cry • Jaydiohead
In the tradition of JayZer, Radiohead + Jay-Z = awesome!

Where Did All the Love Go? • Kasabian
Third time's a charm for Kasabian and every track off the new album is great. This one's a great running mix track, by the way.

The Fear • Lily Allen
She's called it quits from the music industry, while Lady Gaga steals her thunder. Basically my nightmare come true. Come back Lily! Pop music needs you!

Everything Turns To You • Loney Dear
I love the way this track opens, and then there's the great background melody that comes in. Just great.

Never Had Nobody Like You • M. Ward
As if Zooey Deschanel wasn't adorable enough, she guest vocals this catchy, fun track that's the highlight of Hold Time.

Help I'm Alive • Metric
I had heard a lot of hype about Metric, and I'm not entirely convinced, but this is a really great track. A definite best of the year. It sort of reminds me of The Breeders.

Winter Winds • Mumford & Sons
Any track with smart use of horns gets my vote. This one leads with them and carries you into a fantastic melody.

Little Secrets • Passion Pitt
In addition to Phoenix, which just fell short of this list, it was the year of Passion Pitt. This is a live performance of Little Secrets from a concert broadcast on NPR. They opened for Passion Pitt and held their own big time.

The Girl And The Robot• Röyksopp
Easily their best album and most overproduced, but in a good way. This track just builds and builds into a dance frenzy.

Low Rising • The Swell Season
Once was not enough for this amazing life-imitating fiction reunion. It's a really solid track that's a testament to the sound they started out in the name of the love of music.

You And I • Wilco
Lots of guitar strumming in a happy, shiny way. Me likey.

Zero • Yeah Yeah Yeahs
When I first heard this track, I was convinced it was a remix. It's actually the original mix, which is really cool.

how many Polish spam job opportunities does it take to fill a position...

ACTUAL EMAIL RECEIVED TODAY (AND, NO, I NEVER ACTUALLY APPIED FOR THE JOB)...

Hello.

Thanks for the answer to your vacancy on a post of an operator of goods turnover. We appreciate your choice and we look at you as at the potential employee. For this reason, we have decided to send you more detailed information on vacancy. Take into consideration that we take for work only USA residents.

My name is the Natalie Pepper and I deal with questions of expansion of influence of our company Poland Transfer in the USA. Our company has been formed in 1997, the basic office is in Poland. We purchase goods in the countries-manufacturers for the purpose of its further resale in Poland and other countries. Our clients also are physical persons who order the goods under the similar price. Now we extend and we enter the American market, and we need for our staff hardworking and responsible employees on a remote basis for carrying out individual wholesale and wholesale transactions.

We respect and appreciate the employees, that's why we provide with prospects of growth up to regional directors, high salaries and we create comfort in work.

*Annual salary is 36 000USD. In the presence of MBA - 66 000USD.

*Fully home-based work, flexible hours, possibility at the first stages to combine work with another one. At the first stages 2-5 business hours are required to work a day.

*Every worker is given with the laptop (Dell or MacBook), phone (Blackberry or IPhone) with completely paid communication.

If your resume was updated, please re-send it.
You can contact us 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. from Monday till Friday by phone or email.
We wait for your decision for carrying out of preliminary interview.
Please reply to my email:
n.pepper.pt.inc@gmail.com

Natalie Pepper, PT Inc.

best muppet creation since muppetvision 3-D

I know every one and their muppet has seen this video by now, but for those who have yet to, you're in for a treat...

yeah yeah yeahs!

don't be late...

don't be late...

fame...

do it for the tots...

It's that time of the year again. Click on Uncle Walt to find the TOYS FOR TOTS drop off locations near you, or hey, make a donation...

a bit of the old in/out...

IN                                                         OUT

Plaid                                                   Stripes

Lily Allen                                               Lady Gaga

"More Than A Feeling"                                               "Don't Stop Believing"

Crosswords                                               Sudoku

Bundt Cakes                                               Cupcakes

Charity                                                 Savings

nook                                                 Kindle

Epix                                                 Hulu

in Treatment                                             God of Carnage

John Updike                                             Malcolm Gladwell

Walter Reade Theatre                                        Film Forum

Bar                                        Table

Machiato                                        Espresso

Anisette                                        Pastis

Foursquare                                        Twitter

this could be the next big thingin reality televisionif I do say so myself...

Frannie Gaga
Suit wearing author Fran Leibowitz trades place with flavor-of-the-week pop diva Lady Gaga for 48 hours. They must dress as the other. Act like the other. Cary out their lives as if they were (gulp) each other.

just for the record...

I've always thought Kirk Cameron was an asshole. Now we have good reason to hate him more...

they're coming to get you pete...

George A Romero has returned to the director's chair for yet another zombie tale. This isn't it, but it's equally enjoyable...

Women on the Verge of a Nervous BreakdownDue to a Few Too Many Cups of Espresso...

Early Christmakah present request here folks.

A six piece espresso set designed by Academy Award-winning filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar.

Not since David Lynch started selling his own brand of coffee have I been this buzzed.

meet pete...

A couple weeks ago, I adopted an amazing little kitty named Pete from the good folks of All About Spay & Neuter.

Loyal visitors to Beware of the Blog will no doubt remember that I already have two cats. Trust me, this was something I kept saying to the shelter folks at the adoption drive, to which they would always reply "just two?"

So, I think that I've officially just become one of those crazy cat people. Not cat hoarder, mind you, but cat person. Besides, my lovely female cat Heather Locklear, so named because she's beautiful, a complete bitch and makes special guest appearances, is never to be seen. It's really like having two cats.

Until you have to feed the three of them their wet food meal at night. Then it's, as Craig says, "way too much cat."

In any case, Pete's awesome. How can you not love this little dude?

halloween treat...

Check out my interview with legendary master of horror ROBERT ENGLUND over at FORCES OF GEEK


Click on the man of your nightmares for the video.