The W Houston Seventh Anniversary Podcast Beware of the Babylon

Close the window, calm the light. It's our SEVENTH year of podcasting and we're still discovering shocking truths about each other.

In this W Houston podcast (the street, not the singer may she rest in piece) you too will discover:

• What happens at Rachel's couples-welcome "massage parlor."

• Our new podcast segment called THREE QUESTIONS (not four).

• Rachel has a tiny little baby French voice when forced to speak French.

• Why over 40 year old men are wetting their beds.

• A detailed step-by-step instruction on how to subscribe to this podcast.

Don't you forget, this and every episode of BEWARE OF THE BABYLON is available for free from iTunes.

Keyword: BEWARE OF THE BABYLON

More than 90 other episodes are just waiting to get into your iPod here.

Subscribe today for instant updates!

john cougar mellencat...

iDream 3

Last night I got the iPad 3 of my dreams. Literally.

My subconscious decided the new anticipated release from Apple is ready for beta testing, so I thought I'd share with you some of the exciting features in the upcoming tablet:

DUAL SCREENS

Two massively large screens fold from a hinged center to reveal a massive widescreen image that's crystal clear and physically impossible.

SLIGHTLY LARGER SIZE

Ok, really it was twice the size of a laptop, but for some reason in the dream I kept justifying it to everyone as being more a "replacement of your laptop, and not your old iPad."

PORTS and DRIVES

Yeah. Not only will there be component and HDMI inputs, but there's a CD/DVD/BD drive and floppy disk drive. I distinctly remember trying to convince everyone in the dream not to throw out "their disks from college."

TWO KEYBOARDS

I can't come up with a defense for my subconscious on this one. It was just pointless. But one of the keyboards was larger than the other if that means anything. Unlikely.

FLASH VIDEO

After being jazzed about all the above useless features, I somehow remembered it would be nice if the new iPad played nice with Flash. It did, and was possibly the one thing that made sense in the dream.

And now, here's and exclusive artist's rendering of thus said iPad 3. Spoiler alert!

tweet tweet oscar...

I'll be live-tweeting the awards on Sunday.
You've been warned. Follow me @bewareoftheblog on Twitter.

Yo, I'm happy for you and Imma let you finish Beyonce, but Linda Sokolove had one of the cutest babies of all time. Of ALL time...

really...

Absolutely brilliant article from this week's New York Magazine. Pick up a copy!

stranger things have happened...

hollywood games...

Last year I had a chance to tour the Universal Studios backlot. Ok, so it was the tram tour attraction with the cheesy Jaws section and the new King Kong experience.

But one thing that was kind of interesting is the little bungalow set up for toy manufacturer Hasbro. For those of you living under a community chest, Hasbro, has a permanent home on the Universal lot to develop their properties into big budget television series and movie franchises.

Battleship is their upcoming property they hope becomes the next Transformers. A lot of people think it's sure to sink.

Whatever the outcome, they've already put into production big screen adaptations of Risk, Stretch Armstrong and now shifted their Candy Land movie to Columbia Pictures under the poignant comedic eye of auteur Adam Sandler. You really can't make this shit up.

Here are a few games I wouldn't mind seeing movies. All log-lines and ideas © 2012 Todd Sokolove.

COOTIE

A gang of misfit kids accidentally bioengineers a new race of super-strong, fast-multiplying six legged bugs. Super 8 meets Starship Troopers.

PARCHEESI

In ancient India, a ruthless villain pursues a legendary magic diagram that can bring immortality to its possessor. A disastrously failed attempt lands him in the 21st century, where he soon discovers the pattern on a family board game. Ben Kingsley stars in this time-travel comedy.

HAWAIIAN PUNCH

When the secret recipe for the delicious original flavor of Hawaiian Punch goes missing, it's up to a crack team of spies to uncover a dangerous mission that spans all eight of Hawaii's islands. Product placement and game adaptation collides in this fast paced caper.

WHICH WITCH?

Eli Roth brings to the screen a twisted tale of a school bus filled with children captured by a clan of carnivorous witches. When the kids are put under a psychotic spell, they must use their wits, as any one of them could be a witch in disguise.

MR. MOUTH

Michael Fassbender plays a popular gigalo who's street cred is badly jeopardized after jaw-surgery forces him off the job for months. NC-17

MOEments:Insight from Grandpa Moe

Caught on camera, here are some of his thoughts on Egg McMuffins, Politics, Debt, Sarah Palin, The Girl With The Tattoo On Her Ass, Golden Corral, Charity, Routine, Parking, Window Cleaners, Liquor, Meal Timing, Television, Gratitude, and the Funniest Thing That Happened in the Service (WWII)...

MOEments: Insight from Grandpa Moe - watch more funny videos

don't drop the SOPABeware of the Babylon

BEWARE OF THE BABYLON is freaking out in this very stressful podcast episode recorded LIVE ON TAPE from Vynl in Hell's Kitchen, New York City.

Reasons to take Zoloft include:

• Rachel's objection to pretty much everything on the menu at Vynl.

• The mysterious "list" at the Boom Boom Room.

• Why our audience needs to fit all four quadrants.

• How half this podcast not being recorded (long story).

• The tax on our bill came to 6.66.

Don't you forget, this and every episode of BEWARE OF THE BABYLON is available for free from iTunes.

Keyword: BEWARE OF THE BABYLON

More than 90 other episodes are just waiting to get into your iPod here.

Subscribe today for instant updates!

in hollywood, everyone's a quadrant...

My podcasting partner Rachel and I love to compare notes on business meeting Fails, as we're often at conferences, in executive discussions or have vendors pitching their services.

Today, Rachel had someone throw out the term "Four Quadrant" out of context.

Four Quadrant is movie marketing terminology that basically means the film is targeted to all audiences (M25+, W25+, M-25, W-25).

It generally works as a theory, but in Hollywood it's virtually impossible to "create" a Four Quadrant film.

If it helps, let's look at some examples:

Avatar is a definite Four Quadrant film.

The Muppets is a Three Quadrant film.

The Artist is a Two Quadrant film.

Contraband is a One Quadrant Film.

The Adventures of Tintin is a No Quadrant film.

super coolfantasticslow motionmovie...

See if you can spot the biggest kid in this short film I made with my niece and nephew this past holiday season...

blu bond...

Yes, indeed. I am freaking out over this week's CES announcement of a complete Bond Blu-ray set being released. Wish I could have been at CES for this in person, but here's the next best thing...

THE Best Filmsof 2011(if I do say so myself)...

THE TREE OF LIFE

Malick's epic showcase of grace and nature is abstract and mysterious, but nothing less than phenomenal. This is a movie that dares to combine bold imagery depicting the origins of our universe and shift to the tiniest intimate details of love and hate in the American nuclear family. You will contemplate god, science, philosophy, fate, chance, good vs evil before your large popcorn and Diet Coke is no more.

THE ARTIST

Pure perfection mix of simple old-fashioned storytelling coming when it's needed most. Not only does it look spot on technically, but everyone's heart is into it - cast, crew and the spirit of cinema. It shouldn't work, and it does in spades.

INSIDIOUS

Horror fans rejoice. James Wan's INSIDIOUS is a real deal shock fest that delivers genuine scares with a tiny budget. In addition to some incredibly terrifying, jump-out-of-your-seat visuals, it earns its way under your skin and may just follow you home.

MONEYBALL

Profound AND exciting, it might just be the best movie about the game of baseball ever made, and that's including FIELD OF DREAMS. Bennett Miller brings an almost documentary approach, commanding realistic performances and true appeal that's beyond what could have been sport-movie schmaltz.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

Fincher knows what he's doing with his bleakly nihilistic adaptation of the mega-best-selling novel. It is often viscerally darker and more vicious than its literary counterpart ever got. What works best is the pacing and mood, which is completely a team effort of Zaillian's script, Renzor's score, an expert cast and the Oscar winning editing team of Baxter and Wall. Rooney Mara specifically stuns you with her expansion of Lisbeth as a complex anti-hero you feel for from frame one. Here's one first film in a trilogy you'll want to continue.

YOUNG ADULT

Second time's a charm for this Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman team-up, probably more so than JUNO. Here it's Jason Reitman's direction that firmly establishes him as a modern-day Mike Nichols. Charlize Theron is brilliant as Mavis, and her comedy-of-errors antics make up for the films our generation only dreamed John Hughes would make post the 1980s. It's a movie that won't work for everyone, but for Generation X, it's easily the most relatable film since GROSSE POINTE BLANK.

BELLFLOWER

One part slacker fantasy, one part nihilistic apocalypse-for-the-now. It's a one-of-a-kind mad vision that balances the right amount of hipster chutzpah with its filmmaking chops. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I had a smile on my face pretty much throughout the entire film. Either it's this generation's Breathless, or a complete ego-trip captured on home-made cameras.

HUGO

Can high art and commercial hollywood merge together in a big budget holiday film for the entire family (and in 3D no less)? Scorsese is out to prove it can, and despite some minor plot problems, his newest film is a charming love letter to cinema unlike anything ever attempted by him. Visually complex, but sweetly told. It might just interest a whole new generation to Film History.

RED STATE

Kevin Smith's tour-de-force political statement may feel like it has one foot in satire one and foot in torture-porn, but where it truly excels is in its direction of a stellar cast. Melissa Leo is phenomenal, surpassing anything she's done to date and John Goodman pulls upon his Coen Brother repertoire to deliver a believable character in a surreal setting. The entire film owes much to FARGO, with some notes of Gus Van Sant and Quentin Tarantino, but it is a fully focused Kevin Smith movie that is sure to get people talking.

TERRI

This is a painfully realistic slice of High School outcasts and social structure, very much like HEATHERS , but stripped of its camp and black humor. As the title suggests, this is a character film, and not necessarily played for plot. It requires you go with its point-of-view, which is largely carried by a good performance from Jacob Wysocky. It redeems a frank second half, unafraid to go places other films would shy away from.

honorable mentions
WARRIOR

ANONYMOUS

A SEPARATION

MELANCHOLIA

PAGE ONE: INSIDE THE NEW YORK TIMES

SOURCE CODE

THE TRIP

most disappointing/worst films

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN

THE RUM DIARY

COWBOYS & ALIENS

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU

THE IRON LADY

please hammer,don't hurt em...

This is only made better by the Japanese subtitles...

return to santaland...

In this spirited episode of BEWARE OF THE BABYLON, we return to one of our favorite places this time of year - MACY*S.

No, we're not crazy. We actually like to go to MACY*S on a Sunday afternoon in peak holiday shopping traffic. That's how spirited we are. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the man up North.

Other miracles include:

* Reasons why Santa may be drunk on his way back from Rachel's house.

* Outstanding savings update on the Sunday spree.

* Why limos are basically time machines with free whisky.

* How to know if you're part dog.

* Why is it really the most wonderful time of the year?


Don't you forget, this and every episode of BEWARE OF THE BABYLON is available for free from iTunes. Keyword: BEWARE OF THE BABYLON

More than 90 other episodes are just waiting to get into your iPod here.

Subscribe today for instant updates.

RIP Ken Russell

I was midway through High School when my Early Civilization teacher Mr. McCreedy recommended I watch Ken Russell's Rock Opera Tommy.

I'm sure it had to be sparked by the fact that most of my movie-going habits revolved around new Hollywood releases when not rewatching the oeuvre of Spielberg and Lucas.

Or it could have been my much bragged about discovery of my parents' late 60s records, which included The Who, but also obscure psychedelic vinyl dreams like The Electric Prunes.

Years before viewing anything remotely avant-garde, the cinematic suggestion came at the right time in my life. With the exception of a heavily edited-for-television Altered States, it was the first Ken Russell film I'd ever seen and I never forgot the first viewing.

I wish I could brag that I saw the film projected on an Omnimax dome under the influence of a nice closed-door contact high, but I first saw Tommy on a crappy pan-and-scan VHS. I don't even think the sound was stereo. But none of that really mattered. This was not only my first experience with the music from The Who's rock opera, but the eye-popping visuals assault you even with the sound off.

Suddenly Tina Turner wasn't just the leggy comeback queen from Thunderdome or Private Dancer. She was a gypsy - the ACID QUEEN.

Ken Russell commands such a crazy performance from her, it's hard to believe she's only in the movie for one song. It's equally impressive that his assembled dream cast of Jack Nicholson, Ann-Margret, Oliver Reed and Robert Powell are so into being pushed to dramatic extremes.

Suddenly movies had deeper meaning. Thematically it dared me to question religion, society, government, medicine, celebrity culture and commerce. Technically it introduced me to radical montages, gonzo narrative, inventive camerawork and outrageous set pieces. I still marvel, in this age of motion-capture CGI, at the number of optical effects performed in-camera.

Tommy also became the film I subjected a lot of my friends to sit through. In part, this was to show-off the lunacy that it was, but mainly to verify the cool-factor of my teacher.

just a friendly reminder...

Before you start writing those checks out to charities asking for their year-end goals, compare how much their CEOs pull in a year with how much you do...

UNCF
President, CEO Michael L. Lomax - $1,129,249

DANA-FARBER CANCER INSTITUTE
CEO Benz Edward J Jr. - $943,858

AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY
CEO John Seffrin - $914,906

AMERICAN RED CROSS
CEO Gail J. McGovern - $995,718

ROBIN HOOD FOUNDATION
CEO David Saltzman - $452,045

MAKE A WISH FOUNDTATION
CEO David A. Williams - $439,256

WORLD WILDLIFE FUND
CEO Carter S. Roberts - $426,350

get your ass to Marsexplained...

I'm a sucker for audio commentary tracks. They're almost always bad. It doesn't matter if it's a film school scholar, famous critic or actual cast/crew from the production. They're usually pretty awkward and somewhat incoherent.

And then there's the insightful Arnold Schwarzenegger commentary track to Total Recall...

that explains everything(click the cover for more greatness)

crowd-sourcing could win an Oscar...

They should invite all the members of the crowd-sourced YouTube movie LIFE IN A DAY to the Oscars if it gets a nomination. You can watch the entire movie for free here...

11-11-11

Tomorrow will mark an event that only happens once every 100 years - the time and date will be a perfect same-numbered palindrome.

So we are getting not just one, but TWO crappy movies about November 11, 2011. Both are of course called 11-11-11. I prefer the absolute goofiness of the first trailer here, mainly because it's form the good folks over at The Asylum, who don't take anything all that seriously.





You can also prepare for the occurrence by breaking out your corduroy suit since, as the Corduroy Appreciation Club points out, it is the material that most resembles the date. You can't make this shit up folks.

currently enjoying...

times square with Kane Hodderon halloween!!!

Here's a late Halloween treat for you geeky goblins and goons.

Stuntman, Actor and Horror legend Kane Hodder was in town and nice enough to talk to us about his killer new biography UNMASKED, which is a must for any true horror fan.

In addition to chatting about the release (which you can pick up here, btw), Kane shares some thoughts on the new generation of Horror fans, positive insight into Hatchet 3, working in Times Square as Jason for Friday the 13th Part VIII and more...

American Horror Storyan homage from hell...

I wanted to turn American Horror Story off fifteen minutes into the pilot episode.

This is the series that was inevitable.

Given that we've had successful television vampires and zombies, why not a good old fashioned ghost story?

Because it's been done to death, and I especially don't need one from the producer of Glee, that's why.

My initial reaction (and I'm sure many a horror geek's as well) to the first part of the pilot episode featured a massive eye rolling and a deep huff and puff. I lost count of the number of images ripped off from many a beloved horror film, and I especially lost it when I realized the brilliant score from Insidious was lifted directly.

But fear not, horror fans, American Horror Story is on our side.

As the pilot episode unfolded (and frankly after the brilliant entrance of Jessica Lange), I suddenly and instantly got it. The series is a subversive experience that works on a lot of levels, one of which is for the horror fan with more than a passing knowledge of the genre.

AHS knows what scares you.

It knows what's worked in the universe of the genre's past.

It whole-heartingly borrows from classic to modern horror films, television and novels (often blatantly and sometimes indirectly) to get under your skin.

How else can you explain its expert sourcing of music from other productions. The bold choice of Bernard Herrmann's Vertigo dream-sequence in the pilot's expository sub-plot is almost blasphemous, but one could easily make the same accusation of the majority of Brian DePalma's filmography.

AHS may walk the fine line between homage and thievery, but it's with stuff already hardwired into our senses. It instead becomes a giddy experience. A sort of "what-will-they-do-next" anticipation.

I'm not even going to go into the plot of the series, nor what's happened to date. To do so, or even comment on what makes the series so great (outside of its devoted love affair with the genre), would be a major spoiler for those who haven't yet seen the show.

This is instead a call to the percentage of people that perhaps were turned off by the pilot in whole, or as far as they could handle it. I assure you, this is a welcome addition to the season and not to be missed by fans of fright.
For fun, here are just some references to other movies that AHS has toyed with as of episode 3:

The Texas Chainsaw Masacre
The Shining
Poltergeist II
The Amityville Horror
Vertigo
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Eyes Wide Shut
The Strangers
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
The Changeling
Heathers
Insidious
Orphan
Rosemary's Baby
Kill Bill Vol. 1
The Others
A Nightmare on Elm Street

What have I left out?

mickey mouse politics...

He was slammed by the press for staying in Disney World last December during the blizzard that took New Jersey.

Now, an exclusive report from Beware of the Blog has linked the Walt Disney Company to Chris Christie on an expanded scale.

Here's an exclusive first look at the upcoming coffee-table book Chris Christie is a Big Fat Disney Character...

BEWARE!!!!!

my pretty little cameo...

Yes, that was me on this week's Pretty Little Liars Halloween episode. Thanks for asking...

mary blair flair...

Glad to see Google has honored Mary Blair today on their home page. Blair, who would have been 100 today, is one of the most influential modern illustration artists, and is of course best remembered for her work on Disney movies and It's a Small World.

As a long-term resident of the Times Square area, I love this concept image from her book THE LITTLE HOUSE (1952). It hits close to home.

Citizen Fabulous!

Somebody over at Warner Bros. home video is putting some camp back into CITIZEN KANE with their Blu-ray cover art...

small town crime = detroit news

LOVE this news story...

they're coming to get youagain...

One of my favorite remakes, watch the 1990 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD online now for free here...

faux foursquare...

every once in a while, it's good to keep your Foursquare followers on their toes...