see movies, or die tryin'

When I was just a wee lad, I worked at Showcase Cinemas in Ann Arbor, which at the time was a towering megaplex with 14 state-of-the-art screens, the latest concession treats, and an occasional gang-related shooting in the parking lot or lobby.

In fact, on opening night had a huge fight break out in the lobby, and they blamed it on Run DMC's now-classic piece of cinematic contribution Tougher Than Leather. Then there was the time someone was knifed in the parking lot and they blamed it on Do the Right Thing. New Jack City brought a shooting to the area, albeit two miles down the road in another parking lot. Boyz in the Hood led to another cap busted in someone's ass or something like that. Anyway, my point being that there was this much talked about connection between violence and "certain films" released in our theater. It was nuts.

I bring up the memories because last night a dude was shot and killed at a Pittsburgh screening of Get Rich Or Die Tryin', the new 50 Cent film (which consequently costs about $10.50 to see).

My theory of this history of violence in the theaters goes a little something like this...

1) PERSON A wants to see the same movie as arch enemy PERSON B

2) Due to the unfortunate timing of this phenomenon, innocent people are between a popcorn and a hard place.*

* Note that this could happen anywhere PERSON A and PERSON B could run into each other, but it seems that a popular movie at a centrally located place at a peak time has a one millionth better chance of being that anywhere. Also, both PERSON A & B carry guns to the cinema.

Case in point, I remember an incident in '93 in which two seniors were arrested for a brawl that broke out in Grumpy Old Men.

Look for me this weekend starting some static with a three year old at the AMC 12:30 showing of Chicken Little.