iPhony...

With the amazing, revolutionary, extra-damn special iPhone from Apple not being available until June (suck), here's how to win friends and influence people. Next time you're on the subway, try this...

TODD'S STEP BY STEP iPHONY PLAN
1) Hold current iPod up to ear and "have a conversation."

2) Catch the envy of onlookers.

3) Now state, "Yeah, Jobs sent me one. Yeah, it's awesome."

4) Press a button to make the screen light up.

5) Exclaim, "Could you hold on a second, I have a movie coming in."

6) Pretend to download movie.

7) Make kissy faces at onlookers.