I've been in Florida this past weekend with my Grandfather, who is a trip and a half. 88 and still going strong, he pulls shifts a couple days a week as the "sampler guy" at Costco. His trademark lines are "try it, you might buy it" and "if you can't beat it, you gotta eat it."
I'm not sure how far he takes the banter at work, but he sure had some doozies this weekend as we chilled by the pool.
The top three being:
"look at that gal over there with the boobs.
she's got enough breasts for four"
"that bum over there almost killed his wife.
she died 6 years later though"
"oooh, i just sat on one of my balls"
By dinner the first night, and slightly after he said the waitresses had "nice racks and cabooses," I realized I was Ed Wood and he was Bela Lugosi (sans heroin).
