siri with the fringe on top

At first the iPhone 4 ads didn't bother me.  I've always been a fan of the sleek simplicity of Apple's advertising (of which the entire history has been archived for your geek-out enjoyment here).

Yet, at the risk of sounding like my ninth grade English teacher, I'm getting a tad annoyed at the suggestive slang Apple touts its speech recognition technology with. 

In this age of LOL, LMFAO and TTYL, I'm annoyed with each and every iPhone 4 ad Apple takes out.

The ones with the sheep's eye view of an iPhone 4 and the quoted phrase being asked to Siri that results in the display screen instantly and precisely (bringing false advertising to epic proportions).    
The ad here on the left points out you should never just ask Siri where the nearest coffee shop is.  At least not in public like the man who's focus is clearly on his iPhone over the intersection filled with busy traffic and equally distracted pedestrians.  
Don't just ask for the nearest coffee shop.   Not cool, man.

In your best hipster voice, you're to snap at Siri with a mid-day, "I could use a latte."

Now, I could use a lot of things during the day, but a latte is not necessarily one of them.

What if I get to the place where my latte can be used and I decide suddenly I want a double espresso macchiato?

What then, creepy AI voice from within? 

Never simply say "view my calendar" with Siri.  Not when you can casually ask "what does my day look like?"  

A request for the weather report best not be boring.  Be sure to ask Siri flat out "do I need an umbrella?"  My local weatherman can't get this right, why would my phone?  

And, by the way, if you start relying on your talking phone to suggest daily accessories like umbrellas, scarfs and sunglasses, you're a fucking idiot.  Just saying.

For those technophobes convinced Skynet is just a bastard cousin of Siri waiting to happen, I'm imagining the command for global thermonuclear war will be sparked by accidental commands from a 15 year old telling Siri, "yo, bitch, you wanna start some static today?