According to every news report this weekend, children everywhere are at high risk of being attacked this Halloween by sexual predators (cue scary music).
Parents are advised not to let their children trick-or-treat at the homes of accused sex offenders. Uh, duh.
If you can't find a map from your local crazy PTA leader of these offenders on your block, parents are also advised to keep kids away from homes without lights on. Double Duh.
Also, sexual predators tend to give out the bad candy like Bit O'Honey and Mary Janes and sometimes pennys.
Whatever happened to the good old days of parental Halloween care?
For my brother and me, this usually consisted of:
• being sent out the door in winter coats over the costume
• being sent to the Sherrif department to scan the candy for razors and LSD
• being told that regardless of the candy scan, we couldn't eat the pixie stix or pop rocks
