all choked up...

Here's a woman who's just a little too excited to be reporting breaking news...

is that a neti in your nose or...

As pushed upon me by my mom over the past week, the Neti Pot is the ancient remedy for fucked up nasal passages.

The woman pictured above has a Neti Pot up her nose, and what happens next is even funnier than the photo.

Click here see my new favorite video clip of all time.

cujo in training...

I generally like every book I read each year to some extent, but kuddos go to Stephen King for two amazing returns to form - Cell and Lisey's Story, the later providing comfort and support for Boston terriers everywhere.

Also very worthy of mention that I read this year was Michael Cunningham's Specimen Days, which again is a return to form. A huge improvement over The Hours, and twice as ambitious.

grammy schmammy...

Since I still have a few academy screeners to view before my best of movies list can best blogged, I first give you my picks for BEST ALBUMS OF 2006, in no particular order...

TV ON THE RADIO •• return to cookie mountain
I have a weakness for any band being compared to Talking Heads, and this band's second album is one of those that gets better the more you listen to it.

MUSE •• black holes and revelations
A great mix of what makes this band rock with the occasional trippy risk that pushes their sound further.

BELLE & SEBASTIAN •• the life pursuit
Sukie in the Graveyard makes me want to boogie.

CASIOTONE FOR THE PAINFULLY ALONE •• etiquette
Dark, fuzzy fantasy electronic pop fun from a one man band.

JAMES FIGURINE •• mistake mistake mistake mistake
Until the new Postal Service album, this will do just fine.

BABYSHAMBLES •• the blinding
Too short to be genius, but pretty near that.

JARVIS COCKER •• jarvis
Wit and brilliant music, with the deep sexy soulfull vocals only Jarvis could create.

THE DECEMBERISTS •• the crane wife
Don't call it a concept.

GNARLS BARKLEY •• st. elsewhere
Until the new Gorillaz album, this will do just fine. Great cover of Gone, Daddy, Gone.

KASABIAN •• empire
Even better than their first album, and much more diverse in sound. Also makes me boogie.

THE RACONTEURS •• broken boy soldiers
Responsible for fake bruised photos of people everywhere.

THOM YORKE •• the eraser
If you close your eyes and hold it up to your ear, you can hear Radiohead.

hair do...

My nephew's punk hair-cut has caught on with the rest of the family.

I give you the official Sokolove family portrait of 2006.

nevermind the bollockshere's my nephew...

My four year old nephew is going through his punk phase, and I couldn't be more excited. He throws his toys, rejects his veggies, and spikes his hair.





It's just like Johnny Rotten on a British Airways flight to New York.

IS IT NATURE
OR IS IT NURTURE

more than meets the eye...

The new trailer for Michael Bay's Transformers has made its way to theaters, and one thing is for sure.

This ain't your daddy's Transformers.

Check it out here.

I hold a good thought after watching this great trailer, but I know it's just a big ol' decepticon. Anyone remember how psyched we were to see Godzilla after those trailers?

she's saxy!

You asked for it, you get it.

Rachel blows for everyone at her party...

oh what a night...

Loving the new iPod, which did I mention plays VIDEO?!!!!

I did? Um, well, did I mention it was my company christmas present?!!!

Oh, yeah. I did.

Well fancy pants, did I mention that you can download NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD for free as an MPEG4 playable on a video iPod?

Yeah, baby. Download it here.

around the world in a dinner...

Back home in the midwest, where tonight at a new restaurant I couldn't help but overhear two separate hysterical conversations about Chorizo and Couscous respectively...

CHORIZO
"Isn't that that sort of fried meat from Mexico?"

COUSCOUS
"It's like a small grain from the Middle East, but it's more like small pasta. Actually, like cream of wheat."

gloria, i think i've got your number...

Last night, Craig and I were treated to an extravagant meal at the newly restored Russian Tea Room (thanks Paul, Ann, and Warner Bros) and we were treated to one of the best New York celeb sightings I've had since riding an elevator with Paul Simon...
No, not Craig.

Look to the left of his ear and you will see reflected in the mirror behind him feminist icon Gloria Steinem.

Apparently there for a holiday gathering of lesbian friends she never slept with, Gloria astonished us by unwrapping traditionalist establishment gifts wrapped in trite red and green mass-produced package sheets only to discover her gift was an unbelievably non-feminine wool cap that could have come from Cabellas.

Gloria tried it on in good humor, and although I missed that photo opp, it will be permanently engraved in my memory.

I think she saw me snap this photo above though.

give me liberty, or give me eggnog!

Not surprisingly the Liberty Counsel, the wonderful Christian Right legal force behind the publications Same-Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk and Take Back America, has turned their noses at the approaching release of the remake of Black Christmas.

Seems they don't have a problem renting videos from the Blockbuster that rents out the original film, but they will be boycotting the theatres playing this holiday season's horror flick.

These are the same fuckheads who believe there is a war on Christmas going on, because, you know, the primarily white Christians are the most persecuted in this country.

I want to know how they saw Black Christmas before I did. They suck!

that other most wonderful time of the year...

As Kate Winslet stated in The Holiday "last night was the best Hannukah party ever!"

Rachel cooked up a feast, and I made, for the first time ever on Broadway, an AMAZING Kugel (pictured above).

Click on the Kugal for a slideshow of the evening, including Rachel's SEXY SEXY sax solo while flipping a steak.

On a side note, I should like to point out the one dark moment of the party when I realized that Rachel was collecting action figures from Flushed Away, a movie she refused to see with me and called "Down the Toilet."

you go gilmore girl...

You can download this brilliant short film Gnome from Itunes for your video iPod (which, did I mention I just got one, snap snap).

Watch it now here though...

doppelganger's revenge this time it's personal

I know I'm late to this bandwagon, but I am SO Orlando Bloom right now...



In case you're wondering, later on I'll be eating the livers of my doppelgangers with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

And, cause I know you want it, here are Craig's new ones...


Craig wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from de bottom of his heart.

scream real loud...

The only thing cooler than Pee Wee's Playhouse episodes on Time-Warner's Video on Demand is my new video iPod, which I might ad was this year's company Christmas present!

I can now take Electric Dreams, Big Lebowski, and the OK Go on Treadmills video wherever I go.

tis the season to be homer...

Just down the street from this festive display is another home with a simple sign asking to "put the Christ back in Christmas."

Looks like the war on Christmas has begun, and they're bringing in the giant Santa Homers.

this just in...

Tom Cruise has a double chin.









Madonna has a big head.

"sorry, i didn't recognize you in that mullet" - actual quote at party last night

Danielle's 1984 party was awesome, and you can click on the picture of me in a mullet above just to see how totally awesome it was.

She's raising $3,800 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by running with Team in Training, and you can donate here.

sure plays a mean pinball...

The other day Rachel mentioned her fear of the opening credits for Lidsville, which mind you is pretty damn freaky, but no way as terrifying as my strange fear of this Sesame Street pinball number thing from my childhood.

beware of babel...

A few years back Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu made one really amazing movie called Amores Perros and then he remade it really poorly as 21 Grams. Now he has copied his copy of a copy further with the truly abysmal Babel.

For those under a rock, Babel stunt casts Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett as a dysfunctional, uptight American couple on vacation in a remote Moroccan desert. She's shot by the stray bullet from a gun fired by two local boys.
Using this as the center of the film's "structure," for over two hours you get to explore every single character involved...

• the guy who sells the gun for $500 and a goat

• the Japanese businessman who initially gave that guy the gun after a successful big-game hunt

• the Japanese businessman's deaf-mute teenage daughter, and her vagina flashing tendencies

• the American couple's sheltered children's wacky adventures in Mexico after their illegal immigrant nanny endangers their lives after a botched "visit" to her son's wedding

• the gun store owner's wife's second cousin's obsession with Japan's Krispy Kreme craze

Okay, I made that last one up, but you get the idea.

Honestly, if I didn't know any better, or perhaps watched this film high, I would have enjoyed it much, much more as a comedy.

Amazingly, the Oscar buzz is big on Babel, but this is no surprise after last year's equally manipulative and cynical anti-American rant Crash took home the golden boy, upsetting that gay cowboy movie nobody heard about.

You'll be hearing a lot about Babel this holiday season. Be prepared for the following statements made at dinner parties about Babel...

• "Wasn't Babel profound and timely?"

• "Yes, I agree. As a white man, I'm terrified of Mexicans. What a scary, scary film that was."

• "Brad Pitt is SO dreamy."

• "I don't get why it was called Babel. Who's she?"

• "That deaf Japanese girl had a hairy bush.

• "SO hairy."

I recommend skipping Babel and seeking out instead the far superior 1986 deaf-teenager afterschool special, "Have You Tried Talking to Patty?"

sleeves + blanket = slanket

If the New York Magazine advetorial department has their way, this holiday's hottest present will be the Slanket.

This guy on the right invented the Slanket during his first semester of college. Why he couldn't use his hands under the blanket is apparently besides the point, because the Slanket is the evolution of the blanket.

All I know is I'm scared of the Slanket kind of in the same way I'm scared of midgets.

The Santaland Diaries, sort of...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas on this very special episode of Beware of the Babylon for all our friends and family...

* Todd and Rachel create their own Santaland Diaries moments.

* Discover which cookies Macy*s claims as Santa's "favorite."

* Find out which winter holiday is totally made up.

* Plus, which celebrity will flash their naked shaven vagina before the holidays.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN IPOD, AND YOU'RE LAZY, PLAY IT HERE NOW


As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

got you covered...

Sorry for all the eco-blogging this past week.

It's just that the Sokolove Family glacier melted last Sunday, but don't worry, we made lemonade from the water so all's good now.

Hey, want some free Shins covers?

Right click your little asses off here...

STRANGE POWERS (Magnetic Fields)
HARVEST (Neil Young)
THE HOLIDAY SONG (The Pixies)
WE WILL BECOME SILHOUETTES (The Postal Service)

Oh, and you just gotta download this cover of PARADISE CITY from the (I kid you not) Bossa Nova cover tribute to Guns N Roses Bossa N' Roses.