fiddler on the rosh...

As many of you know from last week's Riding the Bus with my Fiddler podcast, Rachel and I now have a new depreciation for fiddlers.

I don't know if I should be laughing or screaming at the New Year's card my grandparents just sent me.

cat blog friday...

This week, Thor goes In the Feline of Fire with Clint. CLICK HERE TO VIEW

the baby mama podcast

This week's Beware of the Babylon goes out to all our baby mamas.




Other bold statements include:

• Creationists need to keep it in their pants.

• Shania don't impress us much.

• Jim Croche may be alright after all.

• Pit-stains rock Rachel's world.

Plus, don't miss this week's exciting new feature: SHE'S A LADY!

Click the panda mama to hear it or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts.

calamari grande...

This is the first ever photo of Architeuthis, the "giant squid," snapped by the National Science Museum in Tokyo.

It is attacking "bait" 900 meters below the ocean.

I have wet myself.

i've seen the future and it will be...

Over the weekend, indie film-fav Steven Soderbergh called the movie business "out of wack."

No stranger to the big-budget glamour of Hollywood with films like Ocean's Eleven and Traffic under his belt, Sonderbergh has always really surprised audiences by his incredible ability to tackle different genres and utilize smaller budgets to their fullest degrees.

In short, he's still one of the most interesting filmmakers working today.

His latest film, Bubble, screened at the New York Film Festival, and it is a masterpiece of direction (none of the cast members were professionally trained actors).

As for rethinking the way movies are seen by audiences, Bubble is the first of a series of films from the director that will be released in theatres, on HDNet Cable, and on DVD in January.

Films that are low in budget, but high in quality (both in script, direction, and the amazing look of HD).

This is the future of film. Let's hope the studios follow this leader.

I've just been rejected for the twentieth time by my beloved New Yorker.

Do they not get my quick wit, sharp irony, and boobie jokes?

Frankly, I'm scared at the captions that are winning. Whatever happened to high-brow?

Anyway, this is this week's cartoon in need of a caption. Comment away...

but the kid is not his son...

My heart goes out to the parents and relatives of missing children in the gulf area. Every time I see these kids on CNN, it just really hits you how many stories there must be from the disaster of Katrina.

That said, I have to say I almost fell out of my chair when I saw this missing kid, who could very well be Craig's love child...



You may also recall the strange separated-by-birth incident over the summer where I realized Craig was himself the love child of rocker Bill Haley,,,



Or is it just me?

sure i donated, but did you get a band?

Get your sanctimonious charity proof now.

Who's next, Carl Weathers?

Craig and I were sitting around channel surfing last weekend and got stuck on the 5,672nd cable broadcast of Predator.

I had totally forgotten that the artist formerly known as Jesse "The Body" Ventura was in it. Craig pointed out how two of these turkeys were now publicly elected government officials.

Schwarzenegger was recently quoted as saying, "I have the utmost respect for gay people, for gay couples....In this particular case (gay marriage), I'm the governor and I've got to protect the people of California and I've got to protect the people of California's right that if they vote there should be no other power that should change it other than the courts...."

Not sure what the hell that means. "Protect the people of California" from what exactly? Too much fabulous? Another Hamburger Marys restaurant from opening?

Arnold should stick to the short sentences. Remember how much more effective he was when shouting "get to the chopper" or "it's not a tumor?!"

man is this guy a dick...

We all know that Bush is the Fortunate Son, but calling him fortunate for being in office during Katrina? What a dick.

click here for dick

THIS WEEK'S PODCAST Riding the Bus with My Fiddler

Podcasting may be in the 14th minute, but we're gonna spend that damn last minute in style:

- a post-theatre photo shoot at Sardi's

- a full recap of Rosie O'Donnell's broadway Mitzvah

- Ipod Nano: A Sex Toy

- A British Invasion

- Basic Instinct - for the blind

It's all just too too exciting. Click the photo to download or listen.

boo! no really, BOO

Watching Most Haunted on the Travel Channel this morning has me a little confused.

When did ghost-hunters become such pussies?

This show consists of "paranormal experts" Yvette and Derek locked overnight in various "haunted" houses in Europe, preferably with all the lights off. Yvette clutches the shoulders of Derek, Derek runs his fingers over her breasts for comfort, and the rest must happen in the commercial break.

Anyway, here are my favorite soundbytes from this morning:

- "Did you hear that?!"

- "Did you see that?!"

- "What was that?! Did something move?"

- "The smell just went away!"

- "I have pins and needles going up and down my back."

- "Derek, let's do it in front of these ghosts."

Ok, that last one was made up.

just a reminder...

It's cat-blog Friday and Heather and Thor have posted their latest masterpiece of cinema - Paws. Check out the film by clicking the poster, or click here for their site.

like John Carpenter's Vampires, but with gays...

John Carpenter had a good thing going (which we all know he blew) when he set out to make a movie out of the novel Vampire$.

The premise was simple. The Vatican secretly enlists a team of vampire-hunters to hunt down and destroy vampires.

Now it turns out that investigators appointed by the Vatican have been instructed to review all 229 Roman Catholic seminaries in the United States for "evidence of homosexuality.” The Pope has already spoken of the need to "purify" the church and has previously described homosexuality as an "intrinsic moral evil." Also, since all gay men abuse children, so this is a win-win situation for the church.

I so want a t-shirt that says INTRINSIC MORAL EVIL.

In the words of Sinead, "fight the real enemy."

run, todd, run!

As many of you know, I have been training for this year's Chicago marathon to be held on the 9th of October.

I've been asked so many questions, from how many miles are in the Chicago marathon (26.2, just like every marathon everywhere) to are you crazy? (answer would be a big yes).

Here are some fun facts about my crazy run...

we have contact(buzz) on the new podcast...

Washington Square Potcast

Rachel and Todd turn 21 on this podcast and you will learn...

- how to imagine no bush

- what every woman is reading

- what irks Todd and Rachel

- why babies should stay clear of Rachel's mom's dog

- beware of the band geek sucking on reeds


If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

just to bring you up to date...

get your ass to mars...

It's official, Schwarzenegger's a Nazi.

Like father, like son. But isn't everything in politics these days?

I so want to teach at Taco Middle School.

wasn't riding the bus enough?

For those of you who think Rosie O'Donnell has not lost her mind, I submit THIS CRAZY ASS VIDEO from her blog.

Rosie, for the last time, we don't need your help!

I swear some days her dyke-with-a-vengeance mantra is enough to make me turn Republican.

jumping the shark together...

The 1983 masterpiece of cinema Two of a Kind is probably best remembered as the moment when both Olivia Newton John and John Travolta decided to nail the coffin of their careers together.

What it should be remembered for though is this little stinker of a song, and even more astonishingly bad music video - Take a Chance.

WATCH Travolta spin his way into the hall of shame.

THRILL to the latest tricks for fashionable mullets

EXPLORE the mystery of Newton John's below-the-belt exit

Click on the photo above to see a clip.

gone to the nintendogs...

TACO BELLE R.I.P 2005-2005

Although I only knew you for five minutes, I will miss you dear Taco Belle.

I'm sorry I wasn't a better virtual owner.

Perhaps I shouldn't have let you eat that strange bag of trash on our virtual walk.

Maybe I shouldn't have pulled on your virtual leash so hard.

I hope you are happy in cyber-heaven with the other Nintendogs being killed this weekend.

You will be happy to know I have restarted my DS and moved on to a nice Shiba Inu, who may or may not make it to the final round.

like celebrity mole, but with celebrities

ABC has a show next week airing called Celebrity A-List Bloopers.

According to ABC, "Hollywood's biggest stars are seen in funny out-takes from popular films and television shows."

Okay, fair enough, but the A-List celebs are:

James Belushi, Wayne Brady, Rebecca Budig, Drew Carey, Andy Dick, Faith Ford, Regina King, Reba McEntire, Sharon Osbourne, Kelly Ripa, Ryan Seacrest and Kevin Sorbo.

Who the hell is Rebecca Budig?

If those are A-List, I guess I just made the B-List.

putting the meow in movies...

Is it nature or is it nurture?

My cats have turned all Felineini on me and started making their own films.

They even have their own website and promise a new take on classic films every Friday!

Great, as if the entertainment industry wasn't competitive enough already, now I have to measure up to my cats.

Speaking of cats, please be sure to check out Max's copycat film The Birds of Morton Street. Flaming Creatures it is not, but it does have the certain 60s art film thing going for it.

give us free!

So Martha's ankle bracelet is now off and she's as free as a light, fluffy angel food cake with a raspberry infusion.

However, the 18 month probation keeps Martha from "drinking or owning a gun," which is pretty much the daily activity of your average KMart shopper. Talk about cruel irony.

In related news, tune in tonight for Fox's repeat of Prison Break staring my long lost pal Wentworth Miller.