Why is McDonald's calling their new "snack" the Chipotle BBQ Wrap? Maybe it's because Chipotle, the far superior fast-food competitor just posted higher-than-expected second-quarter earnings? And maybe it's because McDonald's has now fully divested its investment in Chipotle, in order to focus on bastardizing otherwise perfectly good fast-food ideas.
Speaking of McDonald's bastardizing things, if you've never seen the first (and last) movie produced by McDonald's called Mac and Me, you absolutely must.
This is the most unabashingly blatant rip-offs of a movie ever...
Favorite portrayals of Death on film... Metropolis Monty Python's The Meaning of Life Hogfather The Seventh Seal Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey Meet Joe Black The Frighteners Final Destination
I'm not really one for tattoos, especially since I had to have Winona Forever removed from my ass with a laser.
For me, it's more of a "to each their own" situation, and the one crazy Jewish law I'll obey.
Plus, every time I see someone with a tattoo, I develop this really amazing Dead Zone ability to see into that person's future and their saggy-assed inked body.
So yesterday, I'm waiting for a friend by the subway and this guy walks by looking all hipster with his kind-of nerdy clothes, messenger bag, and horned-rim glasses. He turns to the left, exposing his full length, multi-colored arm of tattoos. We're talking Rod Steiger/The Illustrated Man type shit.
And I have to admit. It looked good on him, until my future-scan devise kicked in and I saw that saggy arm trying to steer a flying car (yes, they're coming).
That plus the fact that there were two other hipster guys that walked by with the same look before my friend showed up.
Leave it to Disney to kiss the ass of the MPAA and ban smoking in their films going forward.
Smoking in all Disney-branded films will soon be "non-existent," while smoking in Touchstone and Miramax films will be "discouraged."
I kind of secretly wish Harvey were still chained at the leg to the mouse. I picture him walking into CEO Bob Igers office to extinguish a cigar on Iger's forehead.
I guess I get the idea to not advocate the smoking in future projects, but think about the number of past productions where the smoking is integral?
Where would we be without Pinocchio's cigar smoking lesson on Pleasure Island?
What about Cruella's fabulous cigarette holder and that wicked green smoke that floats out of it?
And for god's sake, two of the best Miramax releases were calledSmoke and Holy Smoke!
They have caved into the pressure that the MPAA themselves tried to put forth recently, and rather than take a more strategic approach to how smoking plays a part in films, they flat out snuffed it out.
Only thing worse than getting a freak call from a co-worker right by the steam explosion today in midtown, is having to rely on YouTube for coverage of it...
Twelve bucks if you know what movie that subject line quote is from.
So Rachel calls me tonight and asks if I find this new Adam Sandler/Kevin James movie offensive in concept. As a gay man, a question like that is fairly rhetorical. I know she's going to blog about the movie, but here's my take on the whole thing.
First of all, the fact that the movie is actually called I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is, by nature, completely offensive. As if the high concept plot isn't enough, they've come up with a title that should attract anyone immature to laugh at it alone. They may as well call the movie, White Dudes Can't Kiss.
Second of all, the filmmakers have based their bizzaro-world plot around two straight manly firemen who get married in order to get their children the pension plan they lack. Last time I checked, straight couples have plenty up on gay couples in the benifits department, which renders this film Science Fiction to me.
Rachel wonders how a film like this could be made, and really it's very simple. GLADD and The Human Rights Campain (the two most powerful Gay Advocate groups out there) are the most ineffective watchdogs on the planet. Even GLADD's media director Damon Romine claims that the film "stresses the importance of family and treating others with dignity and respect."
Frankly I don't give a shit if the film itself is the most tasteful mainstream exploration of homophobia ever put on film.
The fact is that the print ads and trailers for this movie are more damaging and cringe-worthy than anything I've seen since Eddie Murphy got audiences to do standing ovations to fag jokes in Delirious.
I would, however, pay to see a full-length motion picture based on this classic In Living Color bit...
Another highlight of my trip home was getting the kids to play 80s dress-up with Jake as Jay McInerney and Samantha as Julie Richman from Valley Girl. If only I could convince my brother that these would be perfect Halloween costumes.
In what promises to be more perverse than NAKED HARRY POTTER on the London stage, Brooklyn's hippest booksellers WORD will be hosting their ADULTS ONLY Harry Potter party next Friday the 20th.
Be sure to bring your long, thick and powerful wand unless you're a muggle who "just likes to watch."
Craig shared the random knowledge this weekend that Zach Galligan (Billy Peltzer of Gremlins of course) has started a blog.
Even more random, Zach lives in my neighborhood here in New York!
It's a known fact that I'm a crazy huge Gremlins fan so it's probably just a matter of time before I run into him at the grocery and make a complete and utter fool of myself.
Speaking of random, for some reason I thought of this ad today from the 90s...
Those of you lucky enough to not see Transformers over this holiday week missed a trailer that scared me shitless and is pretty much the only memorable thing about Transformers.
Called the "J. J. Abrams Untitled Project" and currently filming under the fake name "Cloverfield," the mystery trailer is a terroist attack on the senses, showing a frightening firecloud engulfing midtown New York in the dark of night. The trailer's told from the point of view of a group of teenagers via shakey-cam home video, starting with a surprise party for a friend and ending with chaos as the Statue of Liberty's head blazes out of the sky and on to their Upper West Side street.
The trailer's appearing on YouTube, but disappearing even faster as Paramount catches those cell phone recording culprits. You can click the film still above for an NBC news clip about the buzz.
Yesterday I saw the guilty pleasure of the summer, LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD. It's a ton of fun and highly recommended. I can't say the same for TRANSFORMERS, which made me feel just guilty for contributing to Michael Bay's income.
Here's a list of my all time favorite GUILTY PLEASURE MOVIES... SHOWGIRLS TRON JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO XANADU GREEN CARD FREDDY GOT FINGERED BASIC INSTINCT GHOULIES GHOULIES 2 GHOULIES 3: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE THE BURBS SLEEPAWAY CAMP EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY
So it's sorta social? Demented and sad, but social. Right? - The Breakfast Club
When you grow up, your heart dies. - The Breakfast Club
Dad, I think he's gonna pork her. - European Vacation
Chips, dips, chains, whips. - Weird Science
His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name! - Pretty in Pink
I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who cares if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
You look good wearing my future. - Some Kind of Wonderful
Those aren't pillows! - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
College is just High School with ashtrays. - She's Having a Baby
If my whole family moved away from me, I'd have a heart attack too. - Uncle Buck
I got shit on a lot of years by those guys. Alright and where do you think those guys are now? Well, they're not working nights at Target, I can tell you that much! - Career Opportunities
By the way, you can get one of these quotes on the summer's hottest t-shirt from MODERN PLANET. Click the shirt to order one.
Why is McDonald's calling their new "snack" the Chipotle BBQ Wrap? Maybe it's because Chipotle, the far superior fast-food competitor just posted higher-than-expected second-quarter earnings? And maybe it's because McDonald's has now fully divested its investment in Chipotle, in order to focus on bastardizing otherwise perfectly good fast-food ideas.
